If you want to do satire, do it properly

(Disclaimer: this blog believes Martin Samuel is bigoted as much as it believes Joey Barton is gay)

(Disclaimer: this blog believes Martin Samuel is bigoted as much as it believes Joey Barton is gay. The analogies were just easier to write by starting from that premise)

Could just one tabloid journalist admit to their bigotry, so everyone can be really cool about it while simultanously pretending “be really cool about it” is part of their everyday vocabulary? Just one, and preferably a high-profile one at that.

Journalism is beginning to sound a little desperate with its pleading. Politics, football, the cast of Seinfeld, they’ve all had their watershed moments.

And until journalism does too, it will continue to be presumed to have evolved beyond that piece on the Olympics opening ceremony that said: “It is likely to be a challenge for the organisers to find an educated white middle-aged mother and black father living together with a happy family in such a set-up.”

(Jeremy Clarkson has been openly bigoted for years, without comment, but that does not seem to count)

The Leveson Inquiry has called for stronger press regulation, while last week Piers Morgan said something that more than three people publicly agreed with. So here’s a thought. In the quest for intellectual and social respectability more hits on their website, why not come out as football’s answer to Glenn Beck?

Instant credibility (the literal definition of someone believing you mean what you say). Instant respect, from some people at least, safe in the knowledge that your work won’t be plagiarised by Johann Hari or future employers. Past misdeeds glossed over by Joey Barton.

Well of course he hinted at Joey Barton being gay because he put on a bad French accent. It was satire, making a wider point about homophobia in football.”

And imagine the new material for the comment pieces: Mein Kampf, Fox News, Antonio Cassano’s everyday conversations.

And let’s face it, given what’s been written in the press this year, one or two are already halfway there.

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